Pat Robertson's First Amendment

The conservative political activist former presidential candidate, and 700 Club host, Pat Robertson has often astounded the nation with his incisive and divisive pontifications topics including the moral clarity of blaming of abortionsts, gay, lesbians, and liberals for September 11 and calling for divine retribution upon the city of Dover PA. After analyzing his fulmintions with obtusive scrutinization, I am confident that I can localize the "intelligent design" of his theocratic intellectuality. Accordingly, I present to you the First Amendment of what I call Pat Robertson's Bill of Rights:


Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of a non-Christian (strike that) non-Protestant (strike that) non-fundamentalist religion, or prohibiting the free exercise of an evangelical religion; or abridging Pat Roberton's freedom of speech, even when he calls for the assassination of a foreign leader, or of the ultra right-wing press; or the right of born-again Christian people peaceably (if they get their way) to assemble in support of theocratic government, and to petition the government for reactionary Supreme Court justices.